Friends Reunited and Facebook.

[Colin]

Hi,

Just for a bit of interest. Years ago I joined "Friends Reunited" and as with this forum quickly settled in and found ten old school chums. I liked Friends Reunited and was a regular visitor until they changed the format giving Friends Reunited a makeover; it was never the same for me after this because I had difficulty making sense of the new layout; Friends Reunited went downhill and eventually it closed giving the main reason as sites like Facebook taking prominence.

Having read lots of horror stories about Facebook and all the lawsuits flying around I avoided Facebook for a long time but in August 2016 I eventually joined Facebook. I think for me this was a mistake because Facebook was nothing like I expected; initially I added pictures of a number of my projects but I was out of place because the type of discussion on Facebook is to me very trivial indeed and a lot of it is rather too crude for my liking.

I've been discussing online security with a friend here on the forum and this got me thinking about how much information I've added about myself over the years not only on Facebook but by logging onto stores whilst ordering online giving out details; all these details are definitely not secure.

I've not posted on Facebook for the best part of a year so why was I still a member; I was being pestered by pop ups stating I had received dozens of friends requests? I only knew a handful of these and didn't accept; I wasn't impressed by Facebook when I joined and I've not since changed my opinion. I've just cancelled my Facebook account and this was not made easy; I received a couple of messages from Facebook stating I could change my settings to filter out what I didn't want but I wanted to filter out Facebook which I've now done.

On Facebook I began to wonder about how Facebook works; if I innocently and simply out of curiosity look for an old friend or colleague this is stored by Facebook then no doubt the person I've been looking at will receive a friends request? I don't trust Facebook at all and receiving say 39 requests at a time to be friends with total strangers leaves a lot to be desired. I kept deleting the requests then the day after more would arrive and I kept getting the pop up box in the lower right hand of the monitor; perhaps it's just me and the way I think about things but I've finally decided Facebook isn't worth the hassle and I can spend my time elsewhere such as on this excellent forum where I can learn from members more knowledgeable than I.

I'm now spending time looking at online stores I've bought from and if they accept PayPal I'll close the account at each store; I'm not interested in loyalty cards at all because a loyalty card doesn't automatically make me loyal; I shop around for best deals.

As I say this is just for interest but am I on my own thinking like this?

Kind regards, Colin.

 

[MoonShadows]

EEKS! I just clicked the wrong tab and erased the 2 paragraphs I just wrote here.

I'll just summarize...
Don't use Facebook.
Had a biz Facebook page, but deleted it.

Concerned about my personal and financial info "out on the web", I have two things in place to protect my financial info.
1. Top Notch Computer, Internet and Network Security including banking and payment protection. No free or low-priced virus programs for me. Go cheap, get cheap. You get what you pay for. Protecting yourself from viruses and malware is not enough. I use ESET Smart Security. https://www.eset.com/us/
2. I have Identity Theft Protection. Simple monitoring is not enough. What I am talking about is protection that is monitoring my activity and my information and will not only alert me and check with me if any of my information is used in a manner not consistent with my pattern, but will work to correct any breech they find.

 

[Silentrunning]

I think Facebook originally was a good site. It morphed into a site for political haggling, hatred, voyeurism and pretty much a home for trolls living in their parents basement. Years ago I connected with several classmates from high school on facebook. Since then I have avoided it as much as possible. I much prefer the civility of sites like this one.

 

[Esther Knapicius]

use Facebook often. but most of my "friends" are in like minded closed groups, for cooking, gardening, photography, some high school chums. One of my closed groups, a cooking group, we have been together for going on 20 years before facebook started so we move to facebook and closed the forum. We even do a SS exchange , so I can get a gift from someone in "Norway" (as an example) I have met quiet of few of them. Recently met up with one in Scotland for high tea in Edinburgh and then another in Glasgow for drinks. Have vacationed with another to Disney. Love exploring with them their ways of doing things. As far as trust Facebook, I don't trust it 100% no more than I would trust anything else man has created, mistakes can happen anywhere. A computer program is only as good as its programmer. As far as PayPal, don't use it. I use a reliable credit card that will watch my purchases (I hope). When I travel I tell the company where I will be. Yes, there are strangers out there who try to "friend" me. I don't and block them, moving on. Find that if I don't have a real "face" on my facebook that does not happen. Most of my Facebook "friends" are not from USA.

OH, and I don't do banking online. still don't want to go there.

 

[MoonShadows]

Online banking is such a time saver, but you must have the proper security.
I use PayPal on a regular basis. Have been using it for 10+ years. No problems.

 

[Esther Knapicius]

Online banking is such a time saver, but you must have the proper security.
I use PayPal on a regular basis. Have been using it for 10+ years. No problems.

we do, do online investments etc. so far have not needed PayPal, seems where ever I shop on line they are ok with the CCs I have, try not to add more of me out there. Oh, and my one credit card I use often, I can get a free rental car to use when I travel for points.

 

[Colin]

Hi,
Isn't it annoying MoonShadows to have typed a message then accidentally delete the message just before posting. Online banking is now so common and convenient especially for checking accounts; after each transaction I check it's been processed correctly and I keep a limit on our current account. I find PayPal very useful indeed and it brings guarantees along with it; many places now use PayPal to receive payment in fact funds can be moved both in and out easily; details are in one place rather than using a plastic card at multiple places; PayPal like a card once used guarantees payment so if online goods are bought these are usually despatched within a day; no one actually needs PayPal but I prefer to use PayPal whenever I can.

Well said Silentrunning; the amount of rubbish on Facebook is unbelievable; friends we've known for many years show a different character on Facebook to the character they show us face to face and we wonder if we really know such friends because it's quite alarming to speak face to face politely with friends then find they are very crude indeed on Facebook whilst making themselves look like idiots.

I'm pleased for you Esther if you find Facebook to your advantage which obviously by what you say is true then Facebook is useful to you and your friends. I avoided online banking for years but our bank like many other banks are closing so many local branches; the way things are going the nearest branch is going to be 23 miles away; online banking is very convenient for paying assorted bills and balances can be checked in seconds without having to visit a bank or receive paper statements by snail mail. I would though exercise great caution with online banking especially for the elderly who can make a silly mistake; I agree with Moonshadows in that it pays to be very careful indeed but if accounts are indeed hacked into then the bank will make good unless it's a mistake on the part of the bank's customer; I used to visit our local post office to pay the council tax but then this was stopped and I had to visit a local store; gas and electric could be paid for at the post office but again these were stopped; taxing the car and paying car insurance used to be a pain but now done online takes a few minutes as does paying other bills all without leaving home. I think it fair to say online banking is here to stay. Bron never uses a computer so if I wasn't here Bron would struggle a great deal in paying bills etc?

If in doubt at all don't use online banking but I wouldn't want to return to the old fashioned hassle way of paying bills.

Kind regards, Colin.

 

[MoonShadows]

we do, do online investments etc. so far have not needed PayPal, seems where ever I shop on line they are ok with the CCs I have, try not to add more of me out there. Oh, and my one credit card I use often, I can get a free rental car to use when I travel for points.

I use a lot of PayPal associated with my website. I know what you mean about having your info out there. We use one card almost exclusively for personal purchases. It gives us points off on Amazon buys.

 

[MoonShadows]

Sure is annoying @ Colin when you accidentally delete a post before you get it posted, and it always seems like it's the ones that are longer...not the short ones. I also check after each bank transaction to make sure it has processed properly, especially when I am depositing checks online....probably something to do with being older and not having 100% confidence in online things.

 

[Esther Knapicius]

@MoonShadows , I see your Thoreau quote. read that book in high school, did a paper on it also. Have thought now that I am so much older to read again and see what my aged mind will gleam from it this time.

 

[MoonShadows]

@MoonShadows , I see your Thoreau quote. read that book in high school, did a paper on it also. Have thought now that I am so much older to read again and see what my aged mind will gleam from it this time.

Every time I think of or see that quote here, I ask myself if I am doing that today, right now. For many years I lived my life for what I thought or imagined were others' expectations of me. I was miserable. Those days are forever behind me...as long as I keep this quote in the forefront of my mind. That's why I have it in my signature in both of the forums I visit daily. It's for me to see, not others...my constant reminder.

 

[Esther Knapicius]

I guess there is a "slight" online banking I do do, however, not of my own choice, my work does direct deposit of my paycheck to my checking acct. seems to have worked well all these years. And I guess my social security will be the same whenever I sign up for that. Write very few checks a month, like maybe 3, so its not worth it so far.

 

[Esther Knapicius]

Yes, @MoonShadows , the subjective expectations of others can be quite stifling to our souls. Your signature is a good one to keep in mind. thank you.

 

[alp]

I think people are too ready to pass on their personal data on facebook, forums and google. The most horrible thing is that we do it voluntarily because we are honest and decent people and expect others to be the same. Sadly, they are not!

My son said his piano teacher had told him to start an account in LinkedIn, which is totally useless to us, imho. She said it would boost his profile. We don't know the queen, or any aristocrats, ceos or any serious academics. (Well, I don't want to know the queen any way.) After that, there have always been questions from these sites, asking if I knew A, B, or C! I feel my privacy has been violated and what has it got to do with them any way? I have an account, just to post some of my flower photos. Now I don't even bother as it keeps telling me that I have 98 notifications because they have infiltrated my contacts in my emails and from there, more notifications and more intrusion to my privacy. I simply can't be bothered.

 

[Colin]

Hi,

I too joined Linkedin alp mostly because a number of my vintage radio restoration (Technical experts) friends were on it but like you I became fed up with the many notifications actually very similar to Facebook so I closed my account which took a few attempts; sites like Facebook and Linkedin don't make it easy for members to leave.

Perhaps you'll eventually embrace online banking Esther; if used with common sense and a lot of care online banking is very convenient indeed saving no end of hassle.

How many of us MoonShadows do things we don't want to do but things which are expected of us. During my last year at work I was about as miserable as I could ever be disliking the job and disliking the immense pressure the job brought with it; I was living the job day and night 365 days each year; holidays at home working on the bungalow were interrupted because of some urgent problem at work only I of course could resolve; strong rumours of being given a fourth department to look after was one department too many; I volunteered for redundancy stressing I wanted redundancy and wanting to walk out before I was carried out.

Never again will I work for money; visitors who see my work often remark I could make a good living with the knowledge and skills I have; my reply now is that I live in the UK where success is frowned upon and idleness is encouraged; I'm already taxed on my works pension so why would I want to pay even more tax; I've done my years as a slave for a pittance paying my full dues; if I now charged a few pounds for even a basic job I would be expected to pay tax on the amount; everything is greed and money these days and I'm glad to be out of it content with Bron in full retirement. I've never been nor ever will be idle but what I do now I do for Bron and me; as long as the bills are fully paid with a bit of money left over we are very happy with our lives.

Kind regards, Colin.